After my rant of last week, things seem better. Perhaps this is the wake up call I need in my life to pursue employment that is more in line with my true passion. Sometimes I think I do things that others expect from me, although they are not putting this expectation on me, but it is my perception of what I feel they want from me. I am a bit of a perfectionist, and funny thing is that many girls are perfectionists and the have a passion for fitness, figure, bodybuilding, etc. I have always been athletic and interested in health, fitness and training. However, I always went against what I was good at as I fear that once my hobby becomes my job, I will not have passion for it anymore. Teaching allows me many freedoms that I enjoy, and the students are hilarious. This would again depend on what day you ask me, but in general I enjoy them. But, I do have other goals, and this change of workload might be a sign that it is time to look into other options.
This week I was on vacation in the Maritimes, near Moncton NB. This is where I am from and have many awesome memories from my time growing up around here. Yes, the people are different. They are uber nice, welcoming and will talk to you anywhere, and anytime. It is more laid back here, no one is in a rush. If you try to cross the street (not at a cross walk) people will stop - try to do that in Montreal. The only downside to my vacation - the weather. It rained all week. So here we are at a cottage on the beach, and it was raining all the time.
We spent much of the time with family, friends, and meeting everyone's children. There are so many new babies arriving, that I cannot seem to keep up with the names. There are times when I do wish I lived closer to home as all the grandparents are in the Maritimes, but there are many positive things to living in Quebec as well. For example, $7/day daycare, and the focus on the French language.
Before my vacation, due to the amount of stress I was under, I trained everyday. It was hard some days, as I only had 4 hours of sleep but I did as I needed the movement to calm my mind.
I am not supposed to be training everyday. I have to stop that. I am trying to maintain my muscle and over training is not going to allow me to do that. So this week, I trained 4 days, non consecutive. I still have not started routine practice. Not sure what is holding me back from starting the routine practice?
I am excited to be back in my own gym at home. I like the familiarity. I do need to get into a dance studio this week, as I am away next weekend. My goal is to have at least the main structure of the routine finalized, and the music finalized. That way when I get back from my trip I can spend the rest of the time just running the routine full out.
Before my vacation, my diet was perfect. I guess stress will do that to you. I cooked, I ate, I cleaned, and well I worked. I was in and around the school this week, trying to clear up marks, and clean up my classroom a bit. (gosh I love my classroom) I really need to be drinking more water. That I will set as a goal for the following weeks.
Thinking I could keep up with the diet while on vacation this week, I did plan to eat well. However, at certain meals this was not possible. I did eat clean most of the time, but there were some meals that were not so great. When you are in an Italian's house, you do not refuse food. They would have understood if I pulled out my broccoli, chicken, and sweet potato, but when there is a 4 course meal offered to you - by an Italian - you take it.
Let's just call that my cheat meal. ;)
When you travel is it important to have all the tools necessary to keep on point. Hindsight, I would have cooked more meals, and traveled with that. I had cooked twice while I was on vacation, as I did have a kitchen but was missing certain things to watch portions - such as measuring cups. Packing the food was tough as I did not bring any Tupperware, but did have zip locks, so I used those. I usually keep my protein shakes in my diet up to around 21 days before the show, and well I ran out of protein powder. All rookie mistakes, fixable, and well I just could not be bothered.
I was trying to maintain a certain amount of family/vacation balance, to the point where it is not noticeable that I am dieting, and not to throw my family out of whack too much. I mean, I think about Nationals all the time, and don't want my life to pass by me and not to be a participant in my life for the next 6 weeks. I want to be able to enjoy my summer some, and still be a contender for the top positions and ultimately my pro card in August. I do not feel that suffering through the diet phase equals more success on stage.
Last show, I was way to skinny, and you never know what kind of body they are going to reward at a show. My focus is being able to diet down slowly as to not lose muscle, enjoy the process, and live my life, visit with friends, family, have parties, and socialize. Summer is so short, and I want to be able to enjoy it. It just has to be without those summer foods for the next 6 weeks.
I will update pictures when I return home.
“Insist on yourself; never imitate.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson