Where has the time gone? Since the Olympia I have been working hard at school - teaching my new workload of grade 8 math, science, and ethics. I know this school year has been extremely hard, and I have not had this much work to do in 8 years. My first year of teaching was this busy, but that was to be expected.
I teach the same group of students all 3 subject areas. So I see them at least once a day, and sometimes twice. With all that has changed for me this year, I have to say that someone has blessed me with awesome students. I don't want them to know that I think they are awesome, but they ALL are awesome. As long as my lessons are well constructed - they all will work, and be on task. All of them. Some minor discipline issues, but they are in grade 8 this is normal. But overall, they work, they hand in their stuff, and are conscious of their behavior.
I wanted to give up one course, as I am working 50+ hours a week for a job that requires me to be in the building (including teaching time) 16 hours. My goal for taking a reduced workload was to spend more time with my son, and that was not happening. I am still really confused on what to do. I am sure the year will pass by and nothing will change. I will probably have taught this new workload (secretly enjoying my students more), and then see what will happen for me next year.
I have talked with my principal, and expressed my unhappiness, and hopefully he will listen. Right now he does not seem to be listening. He says he will talk to me in February and explain why the change was made. People around me are baffled why the change was made. Hopefully I will get more clarification later in the year.
I am still toying with the idea of doing personal training. Yes, I do want to do this but finding the time is tough. I can find the time to mom stuff, teaching stuff, wife stuff, house stuff, me stuff (when needed), and try to do the fitness stuff - however doing fitness stuff for others is more time than there is in 24 hour day. This is a project that I will be researching and working on over the next few months.
Lately, I am not sleeping well. Do you ever get like that? Not being able to sleep for no reason? I finally feel like I have control over the situation at work. But still, not sleeping. Tired, but not sleepy.
New IFBB Pro....
I think I might be excited for the upcoming fitness season. I still really enjoy competing and know that I am not finished just yet. I get very excited when I think about the upcoming shows, and events. I have applied to the Arnold Fitness International and am hopeful that I will get an invite. I am a huge fan of the event, and after having competing twice in the Arnold Amateur, I would love to be at the Arnold now as an IFBB Pro. I would love to be able to show my stuff on THAT stage. I have been dreaming of this moment since I began fitness, and it is very close now. I am so grateful to still be doing this after all these years, and just hope to continue for a few more years. The Arnold and eventually the Olympia are my goals for 2010. I do have other shows that I would like to do this year and will post that list later in the month.
I am always training. People I know always ask, "still training?" My answer of course is always 'yes' still training but not always dieting. I don't go through those phases of going for a while, and then stopping. I always go to the gym at least 4-5 times per week. Even at my busiest with school or fitness I still manage to go. I find of the diet, sleep or training - if I am lacking time sleep is the first to go. Then diet, then training. I am enjoying my break, and know that it is time to get on the wagon again, but like last year at this time, I am looking forward to the shows, and the preparations. I think I have come to realize that I no longer have to do fitness, I choose to do fitness. For years, and then some I would compete out of pressure (self pressure or external pressure) to compete. I felt I had to compete. Now, I truly want to compete.
To eat or not to eat....?
Do I find certain aspects of dieting hard? Sure. When I am stressed, or near that time of the month I feel like binging. In fact I think I have always been a food binger. Fitness did not bring it out in me. I can remember at times in University eating a whole pizza by myself. Or huge bowls of pasta. But I was so active that it never caught up to me. I live on either end of the bell curve. There is no happy medium with me. I am either all in or all out. I cannot have just a few m&ms. It is the whole bag. Just because I know what to do does not make it easier for me. So how do I stay on track? Deny, deny, deny. I know that in the end the means are justified. The means for fitness includes the diet. It is just part of the preparation.
When I take breaks from the diet - like now, the urge to binge goes away. I always consider food as a source of energy, and not just for pleasure. Sure there are times that I allow myself to go crazy. Once a week at the most. Again, when I am working I am super busy, train regularly, and am active, so can afford the calories. Right now I have no urge to binge eat. There are a few Christmas parties coming up, and I always arrive already fed. That way I will not fill up on just anything. Most times I will just have a drink or two and wait to get home to eat. I always ask myself if eating the food will make the social event better. Most times it won't. It is not always about food, but when you are dieting, some how it is all about the food.
Suggestion for future shows...
I wish I could compete without having to be in shape, and just do the routine. Hey, they have bikini, figure, fitness model why can't they have 'just routine'. They have just body events, why not just truly routine events? I know that most girls don't want to (or feel they are not capable) do the routine so they do figure or fitness. What if there are girls who just don't want to do the diet - they should have just the fitness routine. Maybe that would bring more girls to the arena. And it is highly entertaining as well.
So what is going on now? I am focusing on getting a new routine in the works - music first and then starting my diet in hopes of making to the Arnold this year. There is another pro show 2 weeks prior to the Arnold, and am hoping to be able to make it to that one as well.
I think the list for the Arnold is out around the 3 week of December......