Seeing the Light - so warm, so nice
Ah, I can see the light - the light at the end of the tunnel. Some say it is the last 21 days that are the most tough, however, I disagree - it is the last 7-10 days. Your body either is 'in' or else it is not quite in and you are hoping that you meet the deadline - the day of the show. Most of the time I am ahead of the game anywhere from 1-3 weeks; this time I will be just in time. Mike Davies told me 'you don't win a show 3 weeks out - and this time his words have stuck with me throughout my entire prep.
Today, right now, I am traveling to Dallas, TX.
I have never been there, and am pumped to be among some Southern folks. Always warm and welcoming they are really great to be around.
This show is shaping up to be one tough competition. They all seem to be like that though. Especially figure - there seems to be quite a few girls competing - perhaps it is due to the fact that it is the last show before the Olympia in order to qualify for that event. I too, am keeping my fingers crossed, and hope to get a 'ticket to Vegas'. Oh, and have you seen the fitness competitor list - I get heart palpitations, and nerves just looking at it.
You can see a full list of competitors at http://www.ifbbpro.com/.
This summer I started my diet late. My fault. I was on vacation with the family near the beginning of July and well, it was hard. Really hard. I can diet in fall and winter and spring no issues, but summer for me is hard. I love being in shape, but getting there (contest shape) is hard. It is never a lot of weight that I need to lose - just around the 10lb mark, or if I am lucky less, but getting the momentum to do the work, and stay consistent at it is hard.
Again, I never realized how much time and energy I have put into what I do. I never 'thought' about it before. And now since I have embarked on being an awesome, knowledgeable personal trainer I see the demands it places on my family and myself as a person. I never thought I kept myself from doing things just because I was preparing for a show - but now have realized that I do just that. There are situations that I avoid as I just don't feel like socializing, or being around people. When I am moody or cranky, because of the diet or perhaps that time of the month - I do isolate myself. Perhaps it is a protective mechanism as I never want to seem disinterested in those around me, or seem preoccupied by my thoughts but when dieting and especially the last 2 weeks before a show, I am very internal as they say. I am pensive - I am focussed. I can understand why some relationships don't last in the industry as I can see it from the other person's perspective how hard that must be for them. To feel isolated while living with someone else. Their thoughts on their show and the other person almost feeling jealous not of a person but of a thing.
I am so lucky that my husband knew what I did years before we ever got married. He knew what he was getting into.But what about other husbands - when their wives take up this sport (or girlfriends) and then things change. It is hard. Really hard. As you are always trying to find the balance between giving your all to the activity you love, and giving to your family. That is why I say the last 2 weeks (for me anyways) are the hardest - as I am the most focussed and thinking about the show basically all the time. Everthing I do for the next 2 weeks surrounds what is going to happen in 14 days - the show.
Have a I found a balance? I thought I did but now I am finding it swing the other way. What do I really want out of all of this? I am questionning more and more my reasons for competing. I think it is good to do that, but I am finding myself feeling the need for a break. A long break. I want to leave the sport (or take a break for a while) with good positive feelings rather than keep chasing something that I am not really sure of what the goal is anymore. Why am I competing?
Again these thoughts have been running through my mind for a long time.
Dallas - this weekend. I will be focussed. I will have fun. I will be very excited to see everyone, laugh, eat, and take lots of photos as I am not sure of my next move in the industry.
This weekend I will savor every moment. It might be a while before I get an experience like this for a while.
"Moving on is a simple thing, but what it leaves behind, is hard"